“Mirror Mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?”
“Well… There’s another Mother who is not as selfish as you are. She doesn’t take too much ‘time for herself’, doesn’t let the kids play on their iPads just so she can get shit done and she certainly doesn’t feed them Trader Joe’s meals! Oh and she almost never yells. So I guess to answer your question is: It ain’t you.”
How can I be an advocate for self-care and judge myself for doing it at the same time? I’ve been beating myself up and was convinced that I’m the only Mother on earth doing all those “questionable” deeds. I’ve been judging myself despite the fact that the practice of self-care has saved my sanity.
The answer is simple, this contrast consists of a new habit and the insistent existence of old beliefs. The new habit is the incorporation of at least one hour a day of anything that makes me feel creative, that can charge my fast-draining battery: running, yoga, dancing in my panties, writing, reading, watching Game of Thrones, staring at the wall and/or pleasuring myself. Anything.
The old belief on the other hand, is a tiny little devil sitting on my shoulder, shaking his head in disapprovement.
FACT: Motherhood is a tough, draining job. It’s non-stop 25/7 (we wake up an hour early). We give so much of ourselves to give our cubs a pleasant childhood experience, that we end up balancing on a very thin rope. We don’t get to “go home” at the end of the day and just like any other nurturing profession, we can develop compassion fatigue. It affects our physical and mental health, relationships, and very often threatens the clarity of our purpose and the gifts we have to share with the world.
SOLUTION: Self-nourishment is imperative. Period. This isn’t a sprint, it’s more like a marathon. In other words, a monthly full-body massage will not suffice. The same way we nourish our bodies with food several times a day, it’s only fair to feed our soul DAILY, with anything that aligns our frequency with a creative one. And remember that our kids don’t learn by listening, they learn by watching us. We are leading by many courageous examples!
So let’s try this again:
“Mirror, Mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?”
“What kind of question is this? You are the hardest working woman I have ever known! You better take some time for yourself, have fun and re-energize. Your kids are going to be just fine!
And btw you look smokin’ hot in those yoga leggings and with no makeup! You’re on fire baby! You go girl!”